Every marriage has its ups and downs. You know when things aren’t going well, but just because your marriage might be troubled at the moment doesn’t mean it will end in divorce. So how do you know if your marriage is just going through a rough patch, or if your partner is thinking about – or actively planning – a divorce? There are some red flags that you should pay attention to so that you can either talk to your partner and attempt to work it out, or else start planning to protect yourself.
Money
Has your partner moved large amounts of funds out of your joint bank account with no explanation, or an excuse that doesn’t make sense? They may be stockpiling cash so that it can’t be accounted for when determining marital assets. If there has been tension and dissatisfaction in your marriage and you suddenly notice money is missing, start documenting the declining balance for potential evidence and don’t delay in acting. Whether you choose to confront your spouse or hire an attorney, you should act fast before it’s too late.
Parenting
Have you noticed a drastic change in your partner’s parenting style? Have they suddenly become more involved in the children’s medical appointments, school activities, or sporting events? They may be trying to get up to speed on everything they will need to know if they are planning to become a single parent in the near future. It’s hard to take a sick child to the doctor if you don’t know who the doctor is, and it’s hard to plan your schedule if you don’t know which days your daughter has band practice after school, or your son has baseball practice.
Grandparents
Have your spouse’s parents suddenly become much more involved with your children? This could be a sign they know something you don’t. Especially for younger couples, the grandparents might be footing the bill for the divorce, so it’s possible that they’ll know before you do what your spouse has planned.
What should you do?
Don’t bury your head in the sand. These are just indicators – they are not guarantees that your partner is determined to divorce you. But if they are, isn’t it better to be prepared? If your marriage has been on the rocks for a while and you’ve already tried counseling and made other attempts to improve it, then it may be too late for more talk. Conversely, if this is coming out of the blue and your marriage up until now has been relatively happy and stress-free, then it’s possible there is an issue that has emerged that you can work through together. But either way, now is not the time to take a wait-and-see approach.
Speak with a divorce attorney
You can always talk to a divorce attorney for advice without filing for a divorce. An experienced divorce attorney may be able to recognize other red flags that you may have missed. They can advise you on how to protect yourself, what information you should start collecting and what evidence you should start preserving. Getting prepared doesn’t mean you have to get divorced, but if your partner suddenly serves you with divorce papers, you won’t be caught off guard.
Schedule your free consultation
The law firm of Kirkland & Sommers specializes in divorce and family law, and our team of lawyers has more than 100 years of combined experience. Let us be your trusted experts and help you navigate the divorce process. We offer free consultations, and we will listen to your story, provide feedback based on experience and knowledge, and help you consider your options. Call today or click below to come meet with one of the experienced divorce professionals at Kirkland & Sommers.